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Conter Fleurette

Last night i found something out about myself. Apparently, i can’t read “i like you” signals. Basically, according to friends i have no idea when a girl is flirting with me. This happened last night in a local bar called the Hillhead Bookclub. I won’t bore you with details but supposedly there was a girl across the room who was “into it”, as Morgan so delicately put it. Morgan then proceeded to explain the rules and moves of flirting and how this girl was using all the same “tricks” as she herself would use when flirting with a guy. So for the remainder of the night i kept an eye on the “into it” girl and still couldn’t see any signs.

MP3: Eagles of Death Metal – I Only Want You

So Morgan and her sister Katie begin to elaborate.

1. M and K: “She’s looking at you all the time, looking you up and down. Suggestively. Oh yes, we mean suggestively”.

MY REPLY:  “Yeah there were a few casual glances but if you’re in a pub you’re gonna catch eyes with lots of different people. I mean i happened to have a 4 second eye lock with the 6 foot 3 hairy barman at one point, doesn’t mean i’m fucking flirting with him does it?!”

2. M and K: “At the bar she stood as close as possible to you. Even though there was plenty room at the other end of the bar she made her way down to your end and stood RIGHT next to you, practically leaning on to you.”

MY REPLY: “Maybe she was just trying to get a look at a certain drink. They keep all the beers at one end and the wines at the other. And all the little fridges are littered with all sorts of different bottles of stuff. She was probably just seeing what they had.”

3. M and K: “She made a point of brushing past you on the way to the toilet just so she could say “oh, sorry”! There was more than enough space for her to get buy, she’s tiny!”

MY REPLY: “Maybe she was drunk (she’d need to be to flirt with me!) and staggered a bit and bumped into me. The poor girl’s probably embarassed about it. And anyway i brushed past the bouncer/doorman earlier. Does that mean that i wanna take him out for a drink and then go see Sex and the City together?! No, didn’t think so.”

4. M and K: “She kept giggling and making eye contact with you whilst talking to her friends. Then she bloody well half waved at you! How obvious can you get?!

MY REPLY: “First off, half waved? What the fuck is a half wave? Is that when you use two fingers? That’s called the V-sign. Seriously though, a lifting and gentle shaking of the hand isn’t a wave. Secondly, the fact that she was giggling to her friends is probably the opposite of flirting, she’s probably mocking me and done the “half wave” as a kind of “i feel sorry for you” gesture.”

5. M and K: “She got her phone out right next to you at the bar,  RIGHT next to you, she was leaning forward so you would see it. That’s a massive hint. IE. She wants you to ask for her number or she wants yours. So obvious! I use that one all the time!”

MY REPLY: “She may have received a tx, phone call or may even have wished to peruse the internet for a suitable cocktail mix ” *I’m getting ridiculous at this point. Had way too many white russians*

So, anyways, the final result was that we left the bar around 11pm without myself or the “into it” girl having uttered a full sentence to each other. A few “oh, sorry”s and “hi”s and a few acknowledging nods of the head was all. Did i miss something? On the way to the taxi rank (we decided to go to the 13th Note) Morgan and Katie  ran over all the above points again and stressed how i had missed out on the opportunity of a date.

MP3: Arab Strap – Don’t Ask Me To Dance

Am i subconsciously not allowing myself to be flirted with for some strange reason? Is it a defence mechanism? Am i scared? Am i holding out for someone? Or am i genuinely not able to realise when a girl is flirting with me? Who knows, i certainly don’t. No wonder i haven’t had a girlfriend in two years.

Here’s a little bonus for Morgan, she goes away to America today. She’s over there for a year doing a teaching course. Basically she’ll be standing in on classes doing nothing! No, of course not. She’ll be doing her coursework whilst doing a part time job of helping out lecturers in a college in Boston, how cool is that?

We put this on the jukebox for Morgan last night…she thought the lyrics were perfect for the situation.

“I Haven’t Been This Scared In A Long Time”

S.I.T Wolf X

ps. You’ll be fine Morgan 🙂

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I Have Become Lost….In Translation

This is a two part post.

PART 1

First off, as a few of my close friends and family will know, October is an annually difficult month for me, a lot of shit has happened in this particular month over recent years, say maybe from 2003 onwards. None more so than last October (2008) which was probably the hardest yet. I’m not going to go into details as this isn’t a therapy session afterall but those in the know will understand what i mean. It just seems to be a difficult 31 days in general.

I’m only half way through this October and i’ve already had a pretty shit few weeks. In the last fortnight i’ve succeeded in thinking too much about things from the past, present and future which has led to me embarassing/making a fool of myself, arguing with friends, taking frustrations out on friends and family and pretty much just moping around the house. I can’t seem to communicate properly even with my closest friends. Everything i say or try to say seems to get lost in translation (hence the title) so to speak, even now i can’t seem to spit out the right words of what i want to say about everything in general.

So here’s a few songs currently on Ipod rotation that i can relate to lyrically and musically at the moment..

“there are many things that i would like to say to you….”
MP3: Ryan Adams – Wonderwall

“when you’re in pieces, just follow the echo of my voice..”
MP3: IAMX – Spit It Out

“i’ve surrounded myself with doctors and deep thinkers..”
MP3: The Hold Steady – Stuck Between Stations

“i can’t wait till i get home to the pass the time in my room alone…”
Mp3: Blink 182 – Adams Song

“when you were here before, i couldn’t look you in the eye..”
MP3: Radiohead – Creep

“there’ll be no better day to save me..”
MP3: The Verve – Weeping Willow

“i’m so ugly, thats ok cos so are you..”
MP3: Nirvana – Lithium

“all the stupid lies i hide behind..”
VIDEO: Rilo Kiley – The Good That Won’t Come Out

PART 2

BUT i’ve decided that i’m not gonna spend the rest of October just sitting about feeling sorry for myself. I’m going to start being positive about things…anyway there’s only another 16 days left till November comes! Then things will be back to normal….

The first positive came last night, i had a great time at The Big Pink, helped by the fact that my friends Gus, Luisa (http://littlenihilist.wordpress.com/) and Gordon were there. I know that they haven’t exactly been feeling amazing or having the best of times either recently so it was good for us all to go to the gig, have fun, have a wee talk about various things and drink too many White Russians (again). It was a really great night, Gus and myself had bought our tickets months ago but it was almost a spur of the moment thing for Luisa, Gordon and Paul to join us, they were hoping to head to King Tuts and just pay at the door….guess what? It had sold out! We were looking at another repeat of Temper Trap, they were gonna have to tout and beg their hearts out for a ticket. An hour or so passed, no joy, still no tickets, looked like Gus and i were going in alone and gonna have to just meet up with the other 3 in the bar afterwards. …no wait..”there’s the drummer from The Big Pink” i said as Akiko lit up her cigarette. Gordon, fuelled by a bottle of “wine” and a few milky vodka treats, then had the courage to go up to the tiny drummer and explain his love of Robbie Furze’s old band Panic DHH. Gordon was even wearing his 9 years old Panic DHH t-shirt as proof of his love! Anyways, the kind Akiko then disappeared inside for a few minutes and came back out with the best surprise possible. She had got Gordon plus 3 onto the guest list. With me and Gustav already having our tickets that meant that Gordon, Luisa and Paul could use the guestlist passes and still have a free space left over…you should’ve came afterall Chris! The gig itself was littered with quiet/loud moments reminiscent of feedback pioneers Jesus and Mary Chain (just as i had expected) and My Bloody Valentine. And afterwards i had the pleasure of meeting the Big Pink , i grabbed a 5 minute conversation with Robbie Furze (singer and guitarist) about our love for Sonic Youth, DFA and certain guitars. Then i managed to squeeze in a good chin wag with Milo Cordell (synths and general noise) about his fucking brilliant record label, Merok Records (http://www.myspace.com/merok) . Cordell is the man who found the Klaxons and Crystal Castles among many more and gave them their first big break. I managed to surprise him with my knowledge of a band called Salem. I asked him for a few tips on good bands from Merok that i might not know and he looked genuinely shocked (in a good way!) when i told him that i fucking love Salem, especially their dark and altogether slightly disturbing take on Bruce Springsteens “Streets of Philadelphia” which they’ve named “Brustreet” (get it checked out). Then after another 5 minute conversation with Robbie Furze about lyrics and chords it was off into the night to get some food then back to my bed to try and sleep off the oncoming hangover. All in all, a really good, if not very sweaty (King Tuts is a sweat-hole!) and warm evening for all involved.

Gustav, me, Gordon and Paul (pre-gig, no signs of the afore mentioned dancing indused sweatiness yet!)

Gustav, me, Gordon and Paul (pre-gig, no signs of dancing indused sweatiness yet!)

luisa, someone who is smaller than Luisa, me (during the gig, getting sweatier!)

luisa, someone who is smaller than Luisa, me (during the gig, getting sweatier!)

myself and Robbie Furze (post gig, sweatified and very drunk)

myself and Robbie Furze (post gig, sweatified and very drunk)

VIDEO: The Big Pink – Velvet

And just a little extra video as a nod to friends…

“..our little group has always been and always will until the end…”

i hate october

S.I.T Wolf X

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Legal Aliens

usb-cd-rock-mini-jukeboxOk first things first, Jukebox Cinema is a new section were i’m going to be putting up posts about films. It could be a new upcoming release, it could be an old favourite of mine, it could be an absolutely devastatingly bad film that me and my friends have vocally torn to shreds over and over (Cradle of Fear springs to mind) yet still find ourselves somehow drawn to watching it or last but not least it could be just any old film i fancy writing about. So why the jukebox part in the title? Well all the films will be accompanied by mp3’s that are somehow related to them either through subject matter or title so thats where the “jukebox” comes in….

District9

DISTRICT 9

District 9 is an alien/sci-fi film set in a pre-millenium Johannesburg. It’s directed by Neill Blomkamp, you may recognise the name. He was apparently due to make the movie adaption of Halo before the project fell on its arse, so to speak. Its also produced by Peter Jackson (he of LotR fame).

The storyline is pretty simple so i won’t go into to much detail. Aliens land in South Africa, the military and government find them, house them in a Government refugee camp and keep them quarantined from human society in an area called District 9. Then the fun begins….

It’s released over here on the 4th September (next Friday), i can’t wait to go see it.

Mp3’s
1. Blink 182 – Alien’s Exist
2. Monster Magnet – Space Lord
3. Prodigy – Out Of Space
4. Radiohead – Subterranean Homesick Alien
5. Unicorn Kid – Wee Monsters
6. Mogwai – Angels Versus Aliens
7. Spacemen3 – Take Me to the Other Side
8. Muse – Space Dementia
9. Suicide – Spaceship
10. Babylon Zoo – Spaceman

district-9-support-non-human-rights

BONUS VIDEO

Postal Service – The District Sleeps Alone Tonight

I was the one worth leaving………

S.I.T Wolf  X

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