Monthly Archives: November 2009

THE MONDAY LIST #11: Tache Masters

I’d just like to start off by noting that today is Saint Andrews day, for those who are unaware. He is the patron Saint of Scotland….and Greece, Ukraine, Russia and Romania nonetheless. But seeing as i’m Scottish i had planned on making a special Scottish artists themed Monday List. But i promised a moustache review last week so i’m sticking with that theme and i’ll get a Scottish artists post in before the end of the year, i’ll make sure it’s a big post too. That should more than make up for the delay in my promised Scottish themed post. As i’ve said many times before there is so much musical talent in this country, some heard and some unheard.

But on to this weeks list and a small review of my 5 days living with a moustache.

*NOTE* All entries on this weeks list will have their picture posted next to them. For facial hair comparison purposes more than anything else i suppose.

Before i begin the countdown i’ll clear something up for anyone who is offended by the exclusion of Freddie Mercury, i deliberately left him out because he is the King of Taches and would out-tache any contenders to the throne too easily.

At number one is the late Frank Zappa, known as much for his facial fuzz as his whacked out freaky jazz rock compositions. Number two is Spinal Tap and their bassist with the mostest Derek Smalls. Number three is the lanky gothic legend, the dapper devil himself, Nick Cave. Boogie-ing his way on in at number four is the actual Devil, Jess “The Devil” Hughes and his amazing ,sexual innuendo loving band the Eagles of Death Metal. At number five the psychedelic moustachioed Captain Beefheart. Number six? One of my favourite bands ever who just happen to contain the moustache sporting musical chameleon that is Jesse F Keeler. Sleazing they’re way in to number seven are The Teenagers (check out their remix of Mer Du Japon, it’s late night heaven), led by Quentin Delafon. Number eight are a band who at one point clearly got together and said lets ALL grow moustaches at the same time, The Beatles. Not their biggest fan but respect for the joint tache venture. Lagging in at number nine is Weezer and Rivers Cuomo’s  “different” period he went through when he decided to spring a moustache upon us all. Finally at number 10 is the frankly baffling attempt by The Killers frontman Brandon Flowers to be taken seriously. “Hey, look i have a tache!” Ok Brandon i can see that but that doesn’t mean your band will ever have more than one good album. We all know what one it is, Hot Fuss of course. But the lead single from their second effort promised so much more than was actually delivered and for that reason we’ll include “When You Were Young” and Brandon at the tail end of the Tache Masters list.

Tache Masters
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MP3s

1. MP3:  Frank Zappa – Flower Punk

2. MP3:  Spinal Tap – Big Bottom

3. MP3:  Nick Cave – Red Right Hand

4. MP3:  Eagles Of Death Metal – I Only Want You

5. MP3:  Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band – Diddy Wah Diddy

6. MP3:  Death From Above 1979 – Turn It Out

7. MP3:  The Teenagers – Starlett Johansson

8. MP3:  The Beatles – Let It Be

9. MP3;  Weezer – (If You Are Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To

10. MP3:  The Killers – When You Were Young

And special bonus videos, one for the Tache King (ironically a video where he doesn’t have his famous moustache) and one dedicated to a Mr Moustache himself….

VIDEO: Nirvana – Mr Moustache

VIDEO: Queen – Crazy Little Thing Called Love

And a few bonus MP3s for you to download, believe me these 4 songs are ALL worth downloading. The song by Moustache of Insanity is probably the most random 1 minutes 6 seconds of lyrics you’ll ever hear. The song by Jean Moustache is just sheer sleazy French disco. Pat Cantins song My Lovely Moustache is a gathering of chilled beats and fuzzy mellow bleeps and synth crackles that bring to mind a very stoned version of a certain Richard D James. As for the last track well it’s worth downloading and listening to for the title alone, “Grow Your Own Fucking Moustache, Asshole” indeed. If i was to attempt to describe the song i would be swayed to say “An Angry Hairy Lipped Man Singing About How His Lip Caterpillar Is Better Than Yours”. Or we could just settle for “Orchestral/electronical indie masterpiece with moustache related threats”. Whichever you prefer. Just download all 4 and have your own little Moustache Related Music Session.

Moustache Of Insanity. Clearly the more insane one is in the green shirt.

MP3: Moustache of Insanity – Imagine

Jean Moustache (apparently)

MP3: Jean Moustache – Vodka Champagne

Pat Cantin and his "lovely" moustache.

MP3: Pat Cantin – My Lovely Moustache

The Wet Secrets. There's 5 of them, so you BETTER do as they say and grow your own fucking moustache.

MP3: The Wet Secrets – Grow Your Own Fucking Moustache, Asshole

Now for the Tache Review
——————————

SUNDAY the 22nd: I officially join the Movember club and shave myself a strange breed of moustache/beard. I head round to Andys to see if he’s kept his part of the agreement. He has. He has a handlebar. I’m relieved. I’m not alone in Tacheland. Me, Andy, Chris and Ewan have all agreed to sport our own forms of facial fuzz for this week.

A tache AND a pout!? What was i thinking?!

MONDAY the 23rd: My first day actually venturing outside my comfort zone with this thing on my face. As soon as i leave the house at 7am i feel the cold morning air stiffen my baldy chin, there’s usually a goatee of some sort there. It feels weird without it. I board the bus with my jacket pulled tightly over my mouth and lower part of my face before mumbling my required destination to the bus driver. He looks at me oddly and beckons me onboard. The rest of the journey is secure enough, the bus is pretty empty. I get to my work, take the expected YMCA jokes on the chin (pardon the pun) and open my toolbox.

TUESDAY the 24th: The morning is pretty much a repeat of the previous morning although this time a picture of Lemmy has been stuck to the side of my toolbox. My sister and niece come over to visit after work. My sister Lisa is adamant that she has to take pictures of this ghastly design on my face. She does so. 3 0r 4 times. I cringe in embarrassment for most until i get a picture taken with little Emily and even though i sport this ridiculous thing i can’t help but smile. The pictures from then on in are taken with me in funny/silly mode. Lisa insists she was only taking the pix so she could show Gary (my bro in law) but i know she showed all her friends! Revenge will be mine Lisa, be warned.

The "casual" handlebar and obligatory puzzled look

WEDNESDAY the 25th: I’ve now shaven off the Lemmy-esque side breezer bits of the mosutache beard and i’m down to an almost “normal” version of the handlebar. The journey to work somehow becomes even more awkward as i start to wonder why i’ve even bothered to do this. But an agreement is an agreement and i feel a bit less daft looking when Chris turns up at my place with his very own handlebar effort. I say effort because he’s tried to grow one but its a bit whispy and more like a set of whiskers than a moustache. But at least he’s kept his bumfluff effort unlike some! Andy shaved his off on the Sunday night, he basically only kept it on the Sunday to prove he’d done it then proceeded to shave it off  later that night thinking i’d never know! Cheat. His flatmate Joe stuck him in.

THURSDAY the 26th: My last day of Tache Torture! I’ve shaved off the handlebar bit now and its just a plain old moustache. According to my mum and sister i now resemble an exact replica of my father as a 24 year old. I don’t know whats worse, the fact that they said that or the fact that my dad grew one of these disaster taches out of choice back in the day! Work today is a lot easier, Ewan has returned from holiday and is true to his word. He has a moustache! Some of the friendly abuse is now directed at him. I’m secretly grateful to my shaggy haired friend for sparing me another day as the works focal point of jokes. I’ll buy him a pint later but only on the agreement that its a Guinness and he has to take a huge gulp so he gets a Guinness moustache. I get home on the Thursday and relax knowing that when the morning comes i can finally rid myself of this multi-coloured thing living below my nose.

Words fail me. I can only apologise for any long term damage done to anyone by the viewing of this picture.

FRIDAY the 27th: i rise at 6am and head straight to the bathroom. Hot water, shaving foam, BRAND NEW RAZOR and within 2 minutes it’s gone! I’m free. No more awkward bus journeys, no more “Alright Freddy Mercury” cries in work, no more itchy lip and no more patter from a certain person saying “You actually quite suit that Johnny” in the hope that i’ll keep it. I’m not falling for that one, you know who you are!

I PROMISE I WILL NEVER GROW A MOUSTACHE AGAIN………….UNTIL NEXT MOVEMBER

S.I.T Wolf  X

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I Moustache You A Question

Movember (a portmanteau of the words ‘Moustache’ and ‘November’), is an annual month-long event involving the growing of moustaches during the month of November. The event has been claimed to have been invented in 1999 by group of Australian men from Adelaide.

Since 2004, the Movember Foundation charity has run Movember events to raise awareness and funds for men’s health issues, such as prostate cancer and depression, in Australia and New Zealand. In 2007, events were launched in Ireland, Canada, Spain, the United Kingdom, and the United States.

I’ve went unshaven for pretty much the whole of November. The reason? I had an agreement with a few friends that we would let our facial fuzz grow for a few weeks and then shave it into some form of moustache for the last week in November so we could do our own little contribution to the Movember Campaign. Well the beginning of the last week in November started yesterday. So on Sunday afternoon i blew the dust off my razor and had a shave, i must admit i was tempted to shave the whole beard off as it was getting itchy as hell BUT i stuck to the agreement and shaved myself a Lemmy style moustache/beard effort. Today i’ve came to the decision that for each remaining day this week i’ll have a different style. Basically i’ll gradually shave the moustache off bit by bit. So Sunday, yesterday and today i sported the Lemmy style. Tomorrow will be the simple yet overwhelmingly camp handlebar, Thursday will be a “normal”, casual moustache and on Friday it comes off. I realise that technically that means i’ve only sported a moustache for 5 days and not a week. But Sunday to Thursday is enough for me! Plus, i’ve got a night out on Friday and there is no way that i’m heading into the Glasgow nightlife with a hairy top lip!

Tom Selleck's gotta be in there somewhere!

This Friday, i’ll do a special post about my 5 days living with my moustache and also a special “Top Lip Music Top Ten” List that’ll include the best ten moustaches in music.  I’ll also stick up some pictures of my own fuzz so everyone can have a laugh at my hairy lipped expense.

Until then though enjoy two classic moustaches……technically these two dudes have beards but seeing as i’m saving the Moustache Brigade for Friday they’ll do for the moment.


MP3: Motorhead – Ace Of Spades


MP3: Kris Kristofferson – Closer To The Bone

And as a little taster of what to expect from my own facial creations have a look  (and listen) at this….

S.I.T Wolf  X

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THE MONDAY LIST #10: Family Values

This weeks list is compiled of musical duos that are siblings. I realise it would have been easier to do a post about siblings in music in general but i like the ideas of duos better, the whole “it’s just the two of us” kind of logic.

When brothers/sisters get together and make the choice of recording music together, whether it’s as a duo or as part of a band, there’s no telling what noise might end up being produced. It goes either one of two ways, the absolutely dreadful (The Jonas Brothers) or unbelievably good (Boards of Canada).

There are quite a few factors that come in to play when siblings unite musically. First off, do you get along? Do you get along enough to tour without constantly fighting, to make an album without arguing when the next guitar solo should come in and who should be on the front cover. Secondly, tastes. If one of you likes RnB and the other likes Death Metal then forget it. Thats not to say that for siblings to work well musically they have to like the exact same music but like most people starting up bands it helps to at least have some similar tastes. Thirdly, age difference. With the exception of the Jackson 5, if the age difference between band members is pretty big (say 10 or 15 years maybe) then it’s probably not gonna work. So with that we move onto the list..

Family Values
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MP3’s

1. Boards Of Canada – The Colour Of The Fire
2. Orbital – Chime
3. The Knife – Pass This On
4. Lymbyc Systym – Ghost Clock
5. The Fiery Furnaces – Even In The Rain
6. Tiny Masters Of Today – Stickin’ It To The Man
7. Sparks – Turn Your Back On Mother Earth
8. Tiefschwarz – Yeah
9. Tegan And Sara – Back In Your Head
10. The Veronicas – Untouched

And briefly moving away from the subject of sibling duos i’ll give a nod to two of my favourite bands that just happen to include siblings.

VIDEO: Jesus And Mary Chain – Sidewalking

VIDEO: Radiohead – Reckoner

Also worth a mention in the “Siblings That Work Well Musically” category are The Stooges, Kings Of Leon,  The Breeders, The Carpenters, The Kinks, Psychedelic Furs,  The Misfits, The Black Crowes and sometimes but not all of the time…..Oasis. I have a somewhat love/hate relationship with that band. There are times when i could listen to a full album or two right through and other times when i can’t bear to listen to more than 30 seconds of one of their songs.

Meanwhile there are too many that should be lumped in the “Utter Shit Musical Siblings” category. Way too many to mention but i’ll give dishonourable mentions to The Cheeky Girls, B*Witched, The Darkness, the afore mentioned Jonas Brothers, Spandau Ballet, Bros, The Osmonds, the streak of musical piss that is Hanson and last but not least the latest siblings to jump on the Shit Siblings band wagon….JedFUCKINGWard. Go away please you two annoying quiffed up little bag of bones.

I’ve actually succeeded in bemusing myself as to how i’ve managed to include the names Jedward and Boards of Canada into the same post.

Oh and The Corrs are worth a mention (and a picture) simply because of Andrea Corr. I had a major crush on her in my early teenage years.


S.I.T Wolf  X

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I Have Five Clocks In My Life And Only One Has The Time Right

No matter what kind of mood i’m in if i listen to this song i become happy. I’ve listened to it at least once a day for about a year now and i’m still not tired of it. I doubt i ever will be. The whole album “Grand” is amazing but this song still sticks out as my favourite.

Seriously, you could tell me that i’d just been sacked from my job, i’ve been thrown out my house and someones hacked into my bank account then play me this song and i’d still just smile. It’s everything about it, the lyrics, the way he sings, the catchy lead piano parts and even the video. In fact the video makes me smile even more. It’s just a very happy kind of video, i can’t explain it really. The drummer Kim has has an insanely infectious smile throughout the video and Matt has that distinctive upbeat voice. Enough talking about it though, you get the point.  Below are  free MP3’s for a few different versions of the song. The first is the original version, the second is essentially a slowed down version of the song which appears at the end of their album “Grand” and the last version is pretty much a cover version to be honest.

MP3: Matt and Kim – Daylight

MP3: Matt and Kim – Daylight Outro Version

MP3: Matt and Kim – Daylight (Ninjasonik Remix)

“In the daylight i don’t pick up my phone….”

S.I.T Wolf  X

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Young Friendly Libra Zombie Types From Far Away

Appearing in the Six Mix this time are…..

MP3: Ex Libras – Radar


MP3: Fake Shark Real Zombie – Crystal Compass


MP3: Young Fathers – Straight Back On It


MP3: CAMP – From Extremely Far Away


MP3: Friendly Fires – Kiss Of Life


VIDEO:  Type O Negative – I Don’t Wanna Be Me

I had to post a video with Spanish subtitles cos Roadrunner Records have disabled the embedding feature on their videos….

S.I.T Wolf  X

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Your Monthly Video Dose: November 2009

Steinkind – Deutschland Brennt

Bon Iver – Skinny Love (Live 2008)

If These Trees Could Talk – Malabar Front

The Subs – Music Is the New Religion

Fleet Foxes – White Winter Hymnal

S.I.T Wolf X

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THE MONDAY LIST #9: I Change Shapes Just To Hide In This Place…

Tonights list is dedicated to songs that come in all shapes and sizes, literally. The criteria for the list required having a shape (or reference to shapes) in the song title or the artists name. Some songs are quite long, the New Order track clocks in at just under 7 minutes and there are a few short ones, namely the track by The Octagon and the song “Tommib” by Squarepusher which is barely over a minute long. The avid film fans among you may recognise that particular Squarepusher track from the film Lost In Translation. The particular scene that it’s from is a perfect example of music and cinema coming together to create a beautiful moment.

MP3’s
I Change Shapes Just To Hide In This Place…
————————————————————

1. Testicicles – Circle Square Triangle
2. Idlewild – When I Argue I See Shapes
3. Squarepusher – Tommib
4. New Order – Bizarre Love Triangle
5. Boards Of Canada – Turquoise Hexagon Sun
6. The Models – Bend Me, Shape Me
7. The Octagon – Suicide Kings
8. Nirvana – Heart Shaped Box
9. Russian Circles – Hexed All
10. Circlesquare – Hey, You Guys

Bonus tracks…

Two songs from absolute classic albums. both with Shape in the titles.

from The Shape of Punk To Come..

MP3: Refused – New Noise

and from The Colour and The Shape…

MP3: Foo Fighters – Hey, Johnny Park!

VIDEO: Supergrass – Diamond Hoo Ha Man

And thats it for another week.

“Colours answer feeling in man, shapes answer thought and motion answers will”

S.I.T Wolf X

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